Friday, April 23, 2010

Reasons Why

It is interesting to notice that United States has an extreme divorce rate while other countries have almost no divorces. There are reasons why there is a vast range of divorce levels. One reason that couples do not divorce is for economic reasons; this is mostly the case for woman. In less developed countries and in U.S. history it is the men who are the breadwinners. Because woman don’t have jobs or they make very little they are not able to branch out on their own. This is also why couples stay together when domestic violence is involved. Because women in the U.S are able to have successful careers they have more flexibility to live on their own. Another reason unhappy couples stay together is because of honor and guilt. These can include being with someone because you feel you have to, religion, guilty that you don’t love the spouse/ love someone else. The last main reason couple stay together is for the children (Snow). I think the last one is very selfish. By staying together and not getting long the married couple is becoming a poor role model for the child. I think it is ironic that after having children it puts more strain on the relationship which leads to divorce.

Even though there are many reasons for couples to stay together there are many more reasons why couples get a divorce. The main reason couples get a divorce is lack communication of feelings, problems, and just plain talking to each other (Panse). Since women and men have easier access to a divorce in this day and age, they do not need to put up with things mentioned in this list.

There is a large list of reasons that lead to divorce that are often found:
Lack of commitment to the marriage, lack of communication between spouses, infidelity,abandonment, alcohol addiction, substance abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, inability to manage or resolve conflict, personality differences, differences in personal and career goals, financial problems, different expectations about household tasks, different expectations about having or rearing children, interference from parents or in-laws, lack of maturity, intellectual incompatibility, sexual incompatibility, insistence of sticking to traditional roles and not allowing room for personal growth, falling out of love, religious conversion or religious beliefs, cultural and lifestyle differences, inability to deal with each other’s petty idiosyncrasies, mental instability or mental illness, criminal behavior and incarceration for crime (Panse).

Divorce could be seen as the easy way out but there are things that couples can do to help work though their problems. One is making sure communication lines are open, going to a marriage counselor, and even before marriage co-habitat and really get to know each other. Getting to know each other is very important seeing that you may spend half or more of your life with this other person.
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